Politics is Sports for Psychopathic Nerds
What’s the difference between Election Day and Super Bowl Sunday?
Politics & Sports are the Same Thing
Campaign politics is a professional sport for psychopathic nerds. Think about it. There isn’t all that much difference between Election Day and Super Bowl Sunday. Both are fierce competitions between two opposing teams — each with a loyal, uncompromising spectatorship of diehard fans — locked in a bitter rivalry (even though both teams are owned by the same monopoly of creepy billionaires). The two teams even have their own animal mascots, along with distinct uniform colors to make it easy to tell them apart (this is America after all).
The only difference between the two is that professional sports are played by elite athletes, whereas campaign politics is played by psychopathic nerds — lobbyists, bureaucrats, career politicians, etc.
Election Day is The Big Game. Just like the Olympic Games, it’s a televised event that occurs every four years. Tensions run high, and ornery fanbases have even been known to riot if their beloved team loses The Big Game. Winning is everything, but it’s ultimately shady backroom deals, corporate sponsorships, and ad sales that reign supreme.
There are many other striking parallels between campaign politics and professional sports. For example, there’s a constant, omnipresent stream of mindless commentary and bullshit predictions from TV talking heads and whacko podcasters alike. At first glance, it would be easy to mistake ESPN for CNN. The list goes on and on. Just like in the world of professional sports, arcane quantitative measures and cutting-edge statistical analysis have gradually become major driving forces, from big decision-making all the way down to the very fundamentals of gameplay. Meanwhile, multi-million-dollar betting markets in Las Vegas speculate on the outcome. And of course, there are plenty of extravagant displays of phony patriotism, faux Christianity, and imperialist jingoism.
The current era of performative politics — brought on by Donald Trump — has further blurred the lines between politics and entertainment (such as professional sports). A perfect example of this intersection of politics and professional sports is the controversy over former NFL player Colin Kaepernick’s public protest of the national anthem. Another example would be Donald Trump himself, who has appeared in WWE and has also attended UFC fights. There are countless other examples of the unholy fusion of politics and sports, including NBA player LeBron James, who has made various political statements in the past. Politics and sports are two sides of the same coin (and that coin is a gold token from Chuck E. Cheese).
The whole sordid affair is a grand spectacle intended to distract the masses from the bleak reality that our so-called “government” is (1) racking up the national debt and printing money with wanton disregard for inflation or other economic consequences, (2) conspiring behind the scenes with despicable corporations to censor information, invade our privacy, and curtail our few remaining freedoms, and (3) sending billions of dollars in foreign aid all over the world to bribe wicked oligarchs and fund secret wars in countries you’ve never heard of before — all while neglecting or outright ignoring our many serious problems here at home to the severe detriment of the American people.